I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
