i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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