I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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