Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
