Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
