I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
