he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
