Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
