Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
