on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
