chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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