when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
