Apparently you make a good broom.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
