Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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