East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize