You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
