If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Randomize
