did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I want her autograph on my taint
Rumble strips road head = magical
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize