Define "chronic" masturbator.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
