he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Green mimosas i think yes
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
