dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize