That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
