She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
