Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
