I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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