Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
