belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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