I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
