im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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