He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
barbara walters just said penis...
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
True strength comes from lack of pants
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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