I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
