My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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