We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
