you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
The air taste purple.
Randomize
