with your own penis?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
