if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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