So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
