Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
