This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
