I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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