I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
