Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
