so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm too high and old for this...
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
