Your mouth is God's brothel.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
