I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
