So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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