I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I supernannyed him into submission
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
