if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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