Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
