Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
