wat bout pragnant strippers??
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize