Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Terrible idea I love it
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
