remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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