i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
