how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
