either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
