Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
