i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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