So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
