Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize